25 Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: 26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. 27 And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. 28 “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? 29 For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, 30 saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’ 31 “Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won’t he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? 32 If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. 33 In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.
In today’s gospel, Jesus speaks about the demands of discipleship, and much of what he says can seem very harsh. Luke gives us three challenges faced by those who seek to follow Jesus, and each ends with the same comment: if a person is not willing to do that then they “cannot be my disciple”. The language is particularly strong in each case, with Jesus telling people they must carry their cross, give up their possessions and, most shocking of all, hate their own family. We may well wonder what Jesus truly demands of us and if we really want to do it given the conditions attached.
In his gospel, Luke records a number of statements that we might consider anti-family, but this is by far the worst. Note that in Matthew, the equivalent passage reads “who loves father or mother more” which is much more palatable. But it’s important to understand that the words “love” and “hate” did not always refer to emotions in the ancient world but to showing honor (or dishonor) to someone else. At that time, the extended family was the basic social organization and the honor of one’s family considered extremely important. To hate one’s family generally meant to do something that hurt them in some way, usually by disgracing them. So, joining a new, suspect group like that around Jesus would be considered a form of disgracing one’s family’s reputation. The great biblical scholar Henry Wansbrough (editor of the New Revised Jerusalem Bible) insists that what is really meant is that the bond to Christ must be even stronger than the bond to other human beings, even those closest to us.
In the same way, one must hate “even his own life” which leads to Jesus’ statement in verse 27, that we must be willing to carry our own cross, which means to accept even execution. Discipleship demands giving up one’s personal safety and, in verse 33 we’re told, one’s personal possessions as well. Between these two assertions, Jesus gives us two short parables. One concerns a building project and the other a war but both focus on the need to calculate the result before undertaking something. A wise builder or king thinks about the cost first and whether they can manage it. Likewise, a disciple must truly understand what is being asked (everything) before following Christ. Remember too that Jesus knew all this and still accepted suffering and death to obey God (and save us).
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